10 Things You Only Hear at the Edinburgh Fringe

It's safe to say that Edinburgh is different during August. Picture: Ian Rutherford

It's safe to say that Edinburgh is different during August. Picture: Ian Rutherford

15
Have your say

Walking through the centre of Edinburgh during August is like venturing into another world.

You never know what you are going to see or hear as you fight your way past yet another performer handing out flyers. Here, comedian and Edinburgh Evening News columnist Susan Morrison, an expert on the etiquette of the Fringe, picks out ten things that you could only ever overhear in Edinburgh in August.

1. “Yes, there were only five in the audience, but they really enjoyed it. Well, apart from the four who left.”

2. “I’m aiming to make the people who come to Angst and Agony uncomfortable. So I’ve taken the seats out.”

3. “I called Daddy and he said, ‘don’t worry, darling, just hire another sound system, it’s on the credit card’.”

4. “Does anyone know where I can hire an emergency gorilla suit? I thought I had it sorted, but some stag do turned up and got it instead of me...”

5. “That flyer you just gave me? It’s for my show? Yeah, that’s my face.”

6. “They said the flat was pretty central. Where exactly is Musselburgh?”

7. “It reads like a five star review. But they only gave it two”

8. On the mobile, “Yeah, the problem is that the German free-form mime troupe are delayed at Stansted and can’t make it in time, but the good news is I still have the number of that Irish guy who shoots fireworks out his backside”

9. “So I asked for a low sodium Soya skinny latte moccha and a Frappuccino and the woman just, like, stared at me and said “this is Greggs”.”

10. “I think he liked it. I think he said his name was Barry? He kept saying it for some reason’