Karen Koren: Things that go bump, creak and groan in the night

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I’VE been watching too many crime thrillers on TV recently. I record them and then watch lots at once, although Whitechapel, which has just finished its run this week, was enough to put me off crime shows forever.

Truly scary, it was a bit too real - well, there could be that many evil people out there.

There has to be some humour in TV murder mysteries, like Midsomer Murders, where there are so many murders it’s ludicrous and ultimately laughable.

Sherlock, on the other hand, has lots of wit about it and is not scary in the slightest (well, maybe The Hound of the Baskervilles episode was, a little bit).

Obviously, I can’t wait for its return, to see how the amateur sleuth managed to stay alive - I’m one of the many who have my own theory on how he did it.

Clever TV like that is compulsive viewing. The problem with the scarier murder thriller is, at least on ITV the ad breaks give you time to recover a bit. If like me you have recorded them and you fast forward through the ads, you can scare yourself half to death.

I live in a house with loads of night-time creaks and noises. The wind billows around the building too and howls down the chimney.

That is not good for the heart, especially as I’ve been broken into before and know what it’s like to hear someone shuffling around your house as you pull the duvet over your head, shaking and trying to convince yourself that there is no one there.

Never go after an intruder they say, but I did, I shouted and luckily for me they ran away.

Anyway, I feel my imagination running away with me again. Back to reality. Time to watch some comedy? Maybe not. Actually, that is why I need the escapism of a good old murder mystery to entertain me, I see so much comedy I get comedied out!

A Mrs Bradley Mystery, Maigret or a good old Agatha Christie will get me away from the stand-ups any time.

Of course, I come right back down to earth with a thump during the day at work when I look at tapes of the new up-and-coming comedians, then at least I can laugh off my scary nights.