Karen Koren - Zumba classes get you horny

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I’VE been feeling guilty recently about not doing enough exercise. My lovely ‘old ladies bicycle,’ which I got a couple of birthdays ago - you know the type, little basket on the front – has certainly not been getting enough of an airing.

There always seems to be a good reason not to go for a spin; bad weather, being too busy or, the last time I looked, flat tyres.

You can’t cycle with flat tyres; trust me, I tried.

So I started going to Zumba classes a few weeks ago. I’ve now been to three sessions, even though I didn’t think I’d get through the first one.

Zumba is good because, for one thing, it’s not a busy class, there are only around 15 of us and it lasts 45 minutes. To be, honest I think one hour would be too much.

The teacher is enthusiastic and doesn’t try to tell us what to do, instead she shouts out, “FEEL SEXY,” which is all well and good when you know what you’re doing, but is really the last thing you want to hear while busting a gut to keep up.

Our athletic coach starts off by warming us up to the old Mousse T hit. She sings, “I’m horny, horny, horny, horny!’ at the top of her voice.

First time I ever heard that song I thought the words were ‘Honey, honey, honey!’ My generation aren’t used to such graphic lyrics.

Anyway, while our class leader is feeling horny, we the class are feeling confused. She sets off in one direction, then goes off in another and then spins around. It’s hard to follow and stay with the rhythm at the same time. Every time I think I’ve got it, off she goes in another direction.

Then there is the music, which appears to be Latin mostly, although towards the end of the session it takes on a distinctly Bollywood feel.

The upshot of all this is that I am having to learn to move my hips again in a way I haven’t for many, many years. One thing’s for sure, it certainly is a very good workout.