Snapshot: Stewart Francis, comedian

Stewart Francis
Stewart Francis
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Return Of The Lumberjacks with Stewart Francis, Craig Campbell & Glenn Wool, Music Hall, Assembly Rooms George Street, until August 26 (not 13/20), 8.10pm, £15,

Date of birth: May 3, 1987.

Occupation: Polygraph expert... (okay, okay, comedian and actor).

What sort of pupil were you? A goode won.

Were your school days the best days of your life? If I tell you, do you promise not to hit me and steal my lunch?

What was your first job? Teaching albino Latvian children how to tap dance at a summer camp in Machu Picchu.

What has been your most unusual job? Sales clerk.

My biggest achievement so far has been... Winning the 2116 Psychic of the Year Award.

My worst moment ever was…Getting drunk, hitting on Russell Grant at the 2116 Psychic Awards... and succeeding.

Three words that sum up my personality are... Always being observant and obedient and mathematically inclined.

Favourite place in the world? Wherever my wife is. No, wait, the Bangkok Ladyboy VIP Lounge.

Which TV show do you never miss? The One Show - I’m a big Christine Bleakley fan.

If you could bring one show to Edinburgh what would it be? The Peter Andre, Why Did You Leave Us So Soon Memorial Show.

Name one item you could not live without? My inhaler.

By what ethos do you live your life? Use Greek words and people will find me clever.