Fiona Duff: Cut-price age is becoming real shoe-in

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They say you can tell a gentleman by the state of his shoes; polished so you can see your face in them is, I believe, the mark.

But I used to say that you can tell the state of his bank balance by his watch. Can you see that gleaming Rolex? There’s probably a Porsche in the garage. If there’s a Patek Phillippe on his wrist you know that he’s got a bit of class. And if it’s an Omega, then get your training shoes out because he’s bound to be the sporty sort and if you can’t do a marathon then give up the ghost.

Of course, this type of timepiece doesn’t come cheap. To be honest, most cost more than the second-hand banger that my kids and I use to cruise about town.

And frankly that’s a bit of a shocker because I ain’t keen on spending a lot on money on anything. In fact, I spend half my life on discount websites trying to get a good deal.

And have you been on Gumtree recently for a bargain sofa? I doubt I’ll ever buy a new one again, which I’ll have to when the cat has clawed the current one to its bare bones.

However, as I have pointed out to my husband – who needs to up his sartorial ante – he, and indeed any of us, can now give a better financial impression for a lot less money.

Basically for the price of a second-hand sit upon lawnmower, or one of those super dooper designer prams that so many deluded new mothers insist on buying (don’t even get me started) he could have a bit of bling at the end of his arm. Yes, completely refurbished pre-owned designer watches are now available at Macintyres of Edinburgh.

It so zeitgeist, dahling – designer at a discount. It’s like Groupon, but rather than a cut-price Thai massage you can wear it, impress people and, dare I say it, you can even tell the time in case anyone asks.

All I need to do now is buy him indoors a shoe polishing kit.