Hayley Matthews: I’ve gone from ninja mum to worst mum in the world

The Science Festival is great at providing hands-on fun for little ones. Picture: Allan MacDonald/Edinburgh International Science Festival
The Science Festival is great at providing hands-on fun for little ones. Picture: Allan MacDonald/Edinburgh International Science Festival
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So I thought I should start with an introduction, and if you’re thinking “I ken that lassie’s face”, yes, it’s me off the telly, the cheery wee blether from Edinburgh.

I’m never short of a word to say and being a working parent who’s always running out the house with at least one item of clothing on inside out, short on time but never short on ideas and drama, I thought I’d share my thoughts.

I’m always on the lookout for fun, low-cost, family events and will hopefully give you some ideas too, and a chuckle of course. I’m a 36-year-old mum living in Edinburgh and trying to balance all things family, life, work and fun.

I’ve had a great few weeks off work with my son Harris. However, be under no illusion, it’s been VERY tough. It’s hard keeping a five-year-old boy entertained who just wants to rip up my sofa, throw all my toilet rolls down the loo, launch items about the garden and generally destroy me with his aggressive Netflix-learnt, self-taught ninja skills while throwing balls at the back of my head.

I’ve shouted the words “Can I just do a poo in peace please” too many times to count. So for me, staying in the house all day watching Holly and Phill while munching on Easter eggs is not an option.

Being in the capital city means there’s always loads to do, and the Easter holidays were no different. We managed a trip round Dynamic Earth which left me realising how incredibly small humans are in the grand scheme of the universe and how our choices can impact the entire world and the environment that we share with so many species.

The cinema on the roof at the end of the tour . . WOW.

We also squeezed in the Edinburgh Science Festival - they did a grand job this year. Kids were taught how to make some blood (with food colouring and sugar) and make goo (yes we brought it home and I’ve already scraped it off the walls and the floor) and a trip to the mini-maker festival at Summerhall.

What a great mum, I hear you cry. Not according to my five-year-old. I’m the worst mum in the world for doing the dreaded ‘school night routine’. which mainly consists of winding down at 5pm, with no PlayStation, no sweeties after tea, no treat TV and ready for bed by 7.30.

This is all a big contrast from the 10pm bedtimes we’ve had during the holidays, the entire Easter eggs for snack and ‘fun mum’ charging round the house dressed as a ninja.

I have made a rod for my own back these past two weeks by having loads of fun and spoiling my son, but kids don’t stay wee for long, so I’m making the most of it by filling it with snakes and ladders, watching Mr Bean cartoons and playing the YES/NO game (which he’s ridiculously good at) for hours.

So I suppose what I’m trying to say is for most of us (parents and nonparents) the going back to work and school is hard after a break and getting back into the routine can be really tough.

This week felt much longer, despite the Monday holiday, and I’m sure I’m not alone when I say I’m feeling it. My solution to this is making a hot chocolate with an Easter egg (search online – it’s really easy) and give yourself something to look forward to.

For me I’m doing the early morning movies for £1.99 (always handy mid-month when the pennies are tight) and it’s something to use as a bedtime bargaining tool now that the Easter Bunny is off to his rabbit hole for another year.

Have a great weekend what ever you get up to, I’ll catch you next week.

Hayley Matthews is a presenter on STV2