Call me anti-monarchist if you will. But not a revolutionary. I stand up for the National Anthem, but draw the line at singing God Save the Queen.
There’s a place in my heart for all of the royals. Except master chancer Andrew and ace opportunists the Kents. The royals are flesh and blood like you and me except their blood is a different colour. Blue.
Join Dad’s Army and don’t panic. Keep thy heid, Nick. Your knighthood, or OBE at least, must be in the post.
Nicholas Witchell, below, (call him Witchers if you can afford his legal team) is by now expert at hanging on to the royal coat-tails.
Which brings me (reluctantly because she’s all over the papers every day) to Kate. How much more of Kitty’s smile and the cascading hair can we take? You are a credit to your orthodontist, sweetie. Private or national health? You’ve noticed. They’re giving her ‘‘Catherine’’ now rather than plain ‘‘Kate”. Even Doddy’s gnashers didn’t merit as much publicity.
Piece of cake
He’s on a roll again. James Lynch, owner/baker of The Edinburgh Bakehouse on Newington Road, submitted his morning rolls to a panel of 40 independent judges in the Scottish Baker of the Year 2014 and Lynch’s entry has qualified for the top three in his region, announces Scottish Baker chief executive Alan Clarke. The winners will be announced in Glasgow next month and awards will be presented by celebrity cake designer Mich Turner. Yummy.
Afterwords . .
. . . From me to you, Andy. Puhleese, spare us the tears.