John Gibson: He really is a card is our Stevie

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We’ve all heard of Lady Gaga but we’re not so familiar with Lord Gaggag. Talking about Steve Cardownie, our deputy Lord Provost for a stint, now simply a big shot councillor.

I’m sitting next to him at an all-male Christmas lunch hosted by former councillor Tom Ponton, funded from his pension.

The banter was “rich”, not for wee boys. “You’ve got yellow flowers on the table,’’ Cardownie observed.

Ponton, a life-long Tory, said: “Just because I’m a LibDem.”

Cardownie teased: “You were never a LibDem,’’ and he wouldn’t be silenced, delving in to his rich seam of gags.

“We were so impoverished in our childhood, my chums would put me in a tyre and roll me doon the hill. Those were the good years.’’

The crop of gags seemed inexhaustible.

I noticed he chose quail for his main course.

A delicacy for him before politics introduced him to pastures new.

Fingers on pulse

It hasn’t been easy for May Paton but she’s made of the right stuff, having just completed 16 years as owner of Fingers Piano Bar in Frederick Street. Readying for the festive jollies, the bar is open to 5am, with John Hides resident on keyboards through December, joined by local duo Bleeker (Harris pictured with Lauren) from December 18 to January 2.

Five in the morning? How does the woman do it? A stamina test and she is on the premises most nights. “There are less stressful ways to make a living,” she admits, “but life’s seldom dull at Fingers and we do strive to feature quality acts.”