Starring at a newsagents near you, why it’s the dolly Duchess of Cambridge again! Kate loves to see her picture in the papers and we’ll be seeing even more of her now that she has started to undertake solo engagements.
That’s solo with a battalion of marine commandos behind her, plus a tank or two just to be on the safe side.
Kate spent four hours at the hairdresser tarting herself up for her solo debut, I’m hearing from a reliable source.
A proper bunch of cuddles, she’ s been booked to drive the first tram. Charlie Miller’s poised with his secateurs. Enough hair there to stuff a sofa.
Quite frankly, duchess, it’s fast getting to the stage where the nation is sick fed-up of seeing you in the papers.
A motorist exceeding double the alcohol limit walked free from Perth Sheriff Court. It was his fourth drink-driving conviction. A pat on the wrist and now be a good chap and don’t do it again.
If you want to see this sheriff in court, his name is Robert McCreadie.
Afterwords . .
... Are those crow’s feet under 69-year-old Paul McCartney’s wearied eyes?