John Gibson: Life’s one big ball for them!

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We shouldn’t be surprised our schools are disgorging so many nincompoops (I consulted the Oxford for the spelling) into the job-seeking jungle.

They can barely read or write, a lot of them, when they spend so little time in class. They are forever on holiday, it seems.

Not long back from the lengthy Christmas/New Year break and here they go again, from February 13, on their mid-term break. I don’t hear the teachers complaining.

Caring and concerned parents are resorting to “supplementary’’ teaching at home.

To think we used to live in an era when we bragged to the world about the renowned Scottish education system.

That’s nincompoops with with an ‘m’, incidentally.

Don’t Bea cruel

Posh totty. Princess Beatrice has been finding it hard to secure a job since graduating from uni, replete with a degree in the History of Ideas. Little good to you, I imagine, when you run out of them.

Trouble with Bea has been her accent. Too proper when job-seeking in today’s climate and getting her hands dirty in a pub or hotel isn’t her style. Bizarrely, she’s been talking about elocution lessons.

Save money and just listen to Eastenders or Coronation Street every night, my love. You’ll soon learn.

Don’t try electrocution in desperation.

Afterwords . .

. . . Can’t stop worrying for Demi Moore, anorexia victim at 49. Reduced to a mere stick of a woman. Can this possibly be the same Demi who starred opposite Robert Redford in Indecent Proposal?