John Gibson: Old Walt would sue them, surely

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Too many eggheads down there and they think they’ve cracked it. Too much time on their hands. Big Ben’s going a bit tipsy. Leaning over somewhat, like the Pisa Tower, though nowhere near as spectacularly.

Sinking into the Thames. According to an academic the “lean” is up top, where the bongs come from. It’s an age thing.

We should worry? Well, yes. The teeniest bit. This has to set us thinking: could there come a day when the Scott Monument begins to totter?

All this digging for the trams can’t be doing Sir Walter any favours. He’s surely sitting there wondering whether he should sue the city council.

Go for it, Walt! Sue, sue, sue! Edinburgh’s citizenry, sick fed-up with the trams malarky, would be with you all the way. Just don’t let pathetic councillor Gordon Mackenzie have anything to do with it.

Meantime, they’re talking about News at Five to Ten for fear of stressing ol’ Ben.

Rough justice

Is it all down to snobbery? The planned statue in Leith Links of John Rattray, golfer of repute in 1774 when he won the first competition held by the Gentlemen Golfers of Leith and co-writer of the rules of the game, has been sabotaged.

Come in Norrie Rowan: “The raft of excuses includes what you’d call a ‘stoater’ in that the statue can’t be built on common good land. Isn’t the new Portobello school being built on common good land? Is the Mountgrange scheme in Market Street being built on common good land?

“Rattray was a Jacobite and his name’s not good at St Andrews and Muirfield. The chinless wonders there don’t want golf’s origins associated with him, a Leither to boot. They seem to be putting the boot in.”

Defenceless

Now then, let’s not hum, and haw. The former defence secretary and his bosom buddy Adam Werritty, prize pair of prats pictured in their dickie suits on Dandy Liam’s wedding day in 2005, keep coming back in the papers. Picture editors find that celebratory snap irresistible.

Fox and his pal tinkering with the nation’s defence. Makes you shudder, does it no?