John Gibson: Run by a bunch of cowboys . .

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“Ready to roll!” It’s splashed on the side of some of the trams. Like a declaration of war. Like something we saw in movies of the Wild West littered with stagecoaches.

Yup, ready to roll, the slogan proclaims on the costliest tram system in Western Europe. Make that the world.

What’s missing from the triumphant trumpeting is John Wayne and a team of horses. And, of course, the stagecoach.

Dinnae fash yourself if you miss the first or even the second, fourth or sixth tram. You are about to see or hear or read loads about Edinburgh’s celebrated, and, mark these words, you won’t have long to wait for ‘‘incidents’’ aboard these vehicles, supplementary to what’s been a perfectly adequate bus service.

But hang on, it’s coming to me now . . . what’s missing from the ‘‘ready to roll’’ blast is YEE HAH!

Blooming mad The Beeb are determined they don’t run short of bodies.

With money – your money – to burn they had a dozen presenters covering the Chelsea Flower Show last week. They just wanted to ensure that everything came up roses. Besides, they will be sending 250 or so (what’s 200 or 300 between licence-payers!) to provide reportage from the World Cup.

AFTERWORDS . . .

Debbie Reynolds is saying: “Old age is a wonderful time of life. At least, that’s what everyone tells you. But let me tell you, it’s not true. What’s true is that your hips, knees and ankles gradually give up on you. Everything is quite dreadful, really.’’ Debbie, who starred in Singin’ in the Rain and other films too numerous to mention, is 82. The knees ususually go first, sweetheart.