In the wake, now a mere ripple, of this column telling readers that I keep saying hi! to strangers – foreigners and locals – and creating a good impression of Edinburgh and the indigenous population - the thought occurs I should, in all modesty, put my good self forward for Citizen of the Year.
I’m told I should get four dignitaries to put in a written word for me. Problem there straight away – first find ONE dignitary. Capital city and there aren’t a lot of them about. Dignitaries be damned!
Aye, I’m still saying ‘howzit gaun’ to all and sundry. As I’ve told you, I’ve found it can be therapeutic. This is your self-appointed ambassador writing, the poor man’s Kofi Annan, and we all know how effective he was.
Join the circus
If you work in Somerfield, or Aldi, or Lidl, or Asda or Morrison, Tesco even, you don’t need to stack shelves rest of your life. Gerry Cottle, a gent still working full throttle at 67, is a circus specialist here and he’s staging the state circus in Russia and China.
Mr Cottle, from a family of stockbrokers, tells me he has an employee who regularly shoots an apple off a girl’s head. The shooter used to work in Somerfield.
If you feel you’re in a rut in your job, write to Mr C at Wookey Hole Caves in Somerset. Chance you can join the circus. I’m a highwire specialist but I reckon I’m a bit creaky for that now.
Afterwords . .
. . . on yer bikes! You’ll appreciate the early warning. Chances are you’re thinking you’ve seen it all, heard it all before, so if you want to dodge the Hairy Bikers, their massive tour will bring the all-too- predictable pair to Edinburgh in November. Yawn.