John Gibson: Seconds out for Big Ben salvage job

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He is more Val Doonican than John Travolta, so they said of Daniel O’Donnell in Gogglebox and I’d be last to disagree.

Of more import I’ve heard that Big Ben could well be out of action for up to four months. And the hallowed timepiece’s 9ft hands are in such a perilous state they could fall off.

In such ghastly nick they could, indeed, be silenced for a year, and it will take nearly £30 million to dodge closure for a year. And, the nation well knows, when Big Ben stops ticking we are all in big trouble.

A cut above

I must write to former chancellor Nigel Lawson asking how he sprouts such a lustrous head of hair at the age of 83.

Margaret Thatcher, when she was our leading lady, during the 1987 general election told her adviser, Lord Young, that Lawson, pictured, was to get a haircut. It fell to Lawson’s wife, Therese, to send Nige to the barber.

Give it a miss

On November 3, hard-of-hearing crooner Charles Asnovoice becomes the oldest artist to headline the Royal Albert Hall.

They’d have to pay me to buy a ticket for that gig, I can tell you. He did after all compose a listenable song in She. But I’m sure you’d rather hear me sing it to you than Charlie.

Back in time

Can I be sporting enough to remind you to put your clocks back one hour this weekend.