John Gibson: So we’ll see you in court then, Rolf

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Do you know who I’m talking about yet?

Just trust me, I’m no authority on art (I mean, is Jack Vettriano a painter?) but my guess is that Cunard’s big wheels in time won’t thank me enough for advising them to be careful with the Rolf Harris paintings hastily removed from the walls of their suites on the Queen Mary 2.

They’ve “binned” them in view of the ongoing court proceedings. Mr Harris, a frequent Cunard passenger and host of on-board art classes, will be back in court next month.

His works from the Queens will fetch fortunes if and when auctioned. Or will Cunard’s craft old salts keeps them for their own luxury homes? If you’ve any loose change, take my tip and snap one up.

Family size

Pictured the other day (pushed to squeeze them all onto one page), the family down south who expect their 17th baby – I say again seventeenth – in April. You’re way ahead of me.

You’re wondering how much we are paying them, how we are clothing them and how much we are providing them with accommodation.

You’re wondering why the husband, perpetually big smiles for the camera, found the energy to mass-produce 17. That’s a football team, plus six on the bench.

And what of the mummy? You talk to her, I couldn’t face it. No damn wonder the NHS is toiling.

Afterwords . . .

. . . BBC Trust chairman Lord Patten opening his heart, is telling us that the Beeb has double the number of top execs it needs and wants to seriously reduce the figure. Well, don’t just sit there, m’lud. Damn well get on with it.