John Gibson: Tay denigrate Dundee? It cannae be me

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Much as the silvery Tay shines on Dundee, here I am again having another go at the city. “They’ve built a dam on the silvery Tay, laying the foundations of the V&A,” as their beloved poet McGonagall would have said. They’ve built a dam that has shut out the Tay estuary, a narrow strip of land reclaimed from the sea.

I’ll let them get on with it and good luck to them. All inspired by the Guggenheim in Bilbao.

The museum will enjoy subsidies of £3.5 million a year with half a million coming from Dundee Council for the first ten years. I rather think Dundee would like to be Edinburgh.

I’d still have Bojo, below, albeit the wind temporarily beneath his wings becalmed, running Edinburgh’s Toon Cooncil. When I rang them for a comment, either it was a busy line or they’d simply clammed up.

Poets’ corner

Who needs another McGonagall when you’ve got another McG right here at no extra charge with apologies to Leith Academy: “Down the road that leads to Leith, strolled a little boy named Keith, watching Spitfires in the sky, never heeding passers-by.”

Feel free to replicate. And here’s another from Jimmy Frame, a Glaswegian resident in Musselburgh (it was either Musselburgh or Gourock).

“Haw missus, ye cannae be lookin’ – here’s aiples for cookin’, sookin’ and dookin’.”

The eyes have it

Keep a sharp eye on Fiona Bruce next time you see her reading a bulletin. For she is so short-sighted she needs to have (at least) one contact lens to read the autocue. Fiona is a mere 51. She is not afraid to make a spectacle of herself.