John Gibson: They could do me on a bum rap

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Think shame of yourself, Gibson. Gawping at Kylie Minogue’s ample bare buttocks in the papers. My Sunday School teacher would have been appalled. Surely it’s something in the water.

But when I see a woman (mother of a nine-year-old) going ga-ga over Adrian Chiles (father of two) I have to say in a mad moment, and if you’ll stifle the laughter, there’s hope for me yet.

No hiding place

Applause. Applause. Wave after wave, of tsunami proportions. Choreographed? We have to think so. Miliband for PM? Nae chance.

Cameron and Clegg are ghastly enough. All tarred with the same brush. One lot’s as reprehensible as the other. There’s no escape, no hiding place. God help us all.

Come to think about it, who was the choreographer? Deserves a telly series of his/her own.

The eyes have it

Too much winking. That’s wot’s dunnit to a distressed Anne Robinson, crying out for an airbrush in a recent press pic I suspect she did not suspect this snap was being taken.

Shows what a terrible toll The Weakest Link took of her. She has just turned 68.

Serves her right, this brazen brush with the cameras. But it comes with age, Annie. I should know.