John Gibson: Two lines Joanna won’t ever forget

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Comes a time when somebody’s got to tell her. She has dined out long enough on her one and only part in a Bond movie and this week she’s fingers crossed for a Bond girl role in the next one. Sit down, Joanna, your time’s up. Like they say on telly, you’re fired.

La Lumley will host July’s festival of Bond music at the Henley Festival. Most of her audience are either deceased or reluctant to jump overboard for her.

She’ll have you weeping into your Horlicks with: “The very words ‘James Bond’ bring a rush of excitement to my heart.” Joanna was in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service. She had two lines and she rates that a “career highlight.”

Strings attached

Music lovers in the extreme. They’re saying the rosewood violin owned by the leader of the Titanic orchestra that famously went down with the ship is no fake.

The instrument mildly salted, has been discovered in an attic in Bridlington, Yorkshire. It’s bound to fetch a fortune at the imminent auction.

Even with the local Salvation Army playing a hand in this, as the salvationists have, I personally won’t take any of this as gospel until I’ve heard that virtuoso of the violin has got a tune out of it.

Hasn’t Doddy kept telling us that love is like a violin?