John Gibson: We don’t have a moat you know

Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey

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Don’t be a hero when you’re at the zoo. See what happened to the 21-year-old Afghan when he clambered into the tigers enclosure at Copenhagen Zoo.

He was mauled to death by the three Siberian tigers. Found by a keeper in a moat surrounding the den. Perhaps suicide, it’s thought.

David Attenborough

David Attenborough

It could never happen in Edinburgh. There’s no moat.

Knickers to you

No need to tell me. None of my business, I know. But it’s an intriguing fact that caught my experienced eye. The average woman owns 34 pairs of knickers, three times as many as in 1999, researchers are saying, the nosey blighters.

They’ve been rifling knicker drawers in the name of lingerie science, and found most women own separate knicker collections.

Red-faced with embarrassment as I write. I refused to allow Fifty Shades into the house.

It’s been a sheltered life.

Afterwords . .

. . . in a virtual whisper Sir David Attenborough, at 86, is telling us he is in touch with his own mortality. ‘‘You can’t ignore it when you have knees like mine.’’ But he is game for a 3D series to be set in the Galapagos Islands. The hardy adventurer lost his wife in 1997 and lives alone in the Surrey house they shared.