They’re all at it. It’s become fashionable. The fun thing to do. If you’re A-listed, or Z-listed, and you’re within range of a television camera ... C R Y.
Andy Murray’s at it now. We shouldn’t be surprised. Crying on telly’s become a bit of a racket. The wonder is that it has taken Andy so long to get all boo-hooey. Mum’s rarely been far away with the tissues.
Becks is best. He’s an old hand at this game. Experienced off and on the field. The world waited to hear what he and Posh would call their latest off the assembly line. Harper is suitably bizarre. Reportedly he sobbed at the birth.
Before Harper’s arrival, the Becks in a family portrait looked like a circus act. Let’s see them under a big top at Murrayfield for charity.
Still on this theme, Richard Nixon wept uncontrollably, and famously in the Frost interview. Mainly men, you’ll notice. The weaklings. You get sterner stuff from women.
We’ve always had in our midst individuals who are like Christmas cards. They’re aye greeting. Johnnie Ray, a chart-topping singer in the Fifties, got famous with a heart-breaking ditty titled Cry. “When your sweetheart sends a letter of goodbye ...’’ Mourners at the graveside could still hear him singing it in his box.
On this theme I rang Ken Dodd, asking if he’s considering re-issuing his million-selling Tears for Souvenirs. Dear old Doddy. He couldn’t tell me for weeping into his hankie.
I last cried in public, ashamedly, when the Jambos tanked us 6-1. A comforting hand from my dad was ineffective. Ned got our goal, by the way.