My friend and I have had a bit of a parting of the ways.
Once we were to be found giggling at each other’s jokes, sharing poignant thoughts, having a wee bitch about what’s annoying and chuckling over pictures of cats wearing unicorn hats.
Now. . . well, we’ve just drifted apart.
It was me that changed, not them. I don’t suppose they’ve even noticed I’m not around quite so much, after all, they have 1.23 billion other mates to be getting on with, each with far more thrilling events to fill Facebook than my day-to-day grind.
It’s mainly down to my own jealousy: Facebook holiday pictures of tanned mates strolling beside tropical waters or enjoying a refreshing San Miguel by the banana boats would get a thumbs-up if I wasn’t just home from a windswept and wet two days in Whitby.
And I know it’s certainly not my Facebook mates’ fault they have naturally beautiful, sunkissed children, straight A students, great young athletes/artists/non-stop readers/talented musicians. Indeed, it’s lovely to see, and I’d love to join in except with two boys glued to the Xbox or kicking bits out of each other, I doubt anyone would like my status update: “Just broke up a fight and – guess what? – the boys are up to level 100 in Killer Death Shoot Die You Zombie. Whoop!”
Even those “Having a great barbecue!” photographs of scrummy offerings only reminds me of my cremated Quorn sausages and blackened brick-hard burgers.
It came to a head last week when I was asked to join the trend for listing all the positive things of the past few days and found myself struggling to think of a single thing.
Being a glass half empty type, all this summer 2014 positivity has only made me see my own dreary life as so much worse.
So, rather than replacing the thumbs-up with a two-finger salute, we’re on a break.
That said, if anyone does have any pictures of cats in unicorn hats, roller skating to I Will Survive, while being chased by a Jack Russell, do let me know . . . I could do with a laugh.