Talk of the Town: A referendum too far in the Forth

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IT’s a hot-topic debate that will be put to a multi-option referendum and it will take place – next year.

No, it’s not a sudden outbreak of consensus on the independence vote, but another matter of importance to the people of Scotland – the name to be given to the new Forth Road Bridge.

At the moment the £1.6 billion structure, due to be finished in 2016, labours under the official, but rather stuffy title of Forth Replacement Crossing.

No doubt more imaginative and inspiring suggestions will be put forward, and first up with a proposed name was Labour MSP John Park who, in view of China’s success in winning the steel contract for the project, suggested the Shanghai Bridge or the Beijing Bridge.

Thinking on the same lines, and given the Capital’s other links to China, Talk of The Town thought that the bridge could perhaps be called the Tian Tian Expressway.

Stats the way to do it

DISRAELI famously said: “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics”. So, what would he have made of the fact that only two football teams have kept clean sheets at Tottenham Hotspur over the past 11 months – Real Madrid and, er, Hearts.

Just paws for applause

THEY are the often unsung heroes that sleep at our feet, chew our papers and always seem to be rolling in something they shouldn’t. And now they are set to be recognised, thanks to the Dogs Trust. The UK’s largest dog welfare charity, which has a rehoming centre in West Calder, is calling on local dog lovers to nominate their pets for a prestigious Dogs Trust Honour.

Categories include Hero Dog, for four-legged friends that performed amazing acts of bravery; Dogged Devotion, for pets that provide emotional or medical support to their owners; Media Mutt, for dogs that have appeared in the media, on TV or a film; and Comedy Canine, for the dogs that can’t resist outrageous or embarrassing antics.

Anyone who thinks their precious pooch could be a winner, nominate them online at www.dogstrusthonours.co.uk.

Priory warning for Ronnie

A WELL-KNOWN comedian walks into a psychiatrist’s office. It sounds like the set-up to a joke but in actual fact it relates to pint-sized funnyman Ronnie Corbett’s recent visit to see a shrink at the Priory.

The 81-year old comedian was sent by his GP after he complained about feeling a little funny – no pun intended. Thankfully, the much-loved star was declared fine and sent home within ten minutes.