Talk of the Town: Mess with our toot-toot

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MUCH has been made of the Capital’s trams being all-but silent – a concern for pedestrians it’s true, but the city’s own Tam the Tram asks: “Does ‘tring tring’ sound a bit camp? I think I’ll stick wae ‘toot toot’.”

Don’t take it to the limit

IN our X-Factor fanatic society it’s quite refreshing to find someone not screaming that they WILL be the world’s biggest star. So plaudits to former stand-up Richard Melvin, who has announced his stage days are over, adding: “The best in the business are amazing but there’s a lot of terrible acts out there… Holding your own isn’t good enough for me. I wish 90 per cent of the comedians I’ve seen thought the same. The world would be a better place.”

MPs’ flips that we approve of

THE stage is set, the teams are ready and it’s all go for what could be the biggest political showdown of the year.

No, it’s not the by-election for the Eastleigh constituency vacated by Chris Huhne, but the altogether more serious matter of the annual Westminster pancake race which sees teams of MPs competing against Lords and political correspondents.

And this year we have two local boys in the running to prove they’re the top pancake tossers, with Edinburgh South MP Ian Murray and Edinburgh West MP Mike Crockart both in the running for tomorrow’s main event.

TOTT revealed that Mr Murray has been in strenuous training for the contest – hopefully neither man will be a flop.

Capital’s pipers get contemporary

THEY are charged with bringing visitors the sound of Scotland, but some bagpipers in the capital are doing their bit to prove they’re out of this world.

One piper at Waverley was recently overheard having “a fair crack” at the Star Wars theme – surely it won’t be long before the Red Hot Chilli Pipers’ version of Purple Haze is as common as Flower of Scotland?