Talk of the town: No-one spots cops playing at robbers

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DON’T start punching 999 into your phone the next time you see a hooded gentlemen creeping up your driveway – because the guy may in fact be a police officer.

Morningside Community Council’s minutes recently contained a line which told how officers had begun hooding up and stalking the area’s driveways in an effort to gauge public awareness of suspicious activity.

However, this wasn’t some new strategy but a misunderstanding – officers were in fact hunting a suspect and amused themselves by speculating on the number of calls flooding into headquarters about their shifty behaviour.

How many calls? In total – zero.

Council spokesman lacks the write stuff, it seems

OLYMPIC fever seems to have taken over council headquarters so much that bosses have begun peddling fantastic cycle offers to staff – or should that be pedalling?

In an internal email to employees they ask “Are you the next Bradley Wiggins?” before offering 20 per cent off bike maintenance, ten per cent off cycling gear and plugging their bike to work scheme.

They then ride head first into a clanger – “So stick on those sideburns and use your peddle power!”

Not as easy as it looks, is it, this journalism game?

Games fail to cause a flap

FOR the past two weeks the country has been gripped by Olympic mania as Team GB head for a record-breaking haul of gold medals.

The Capital was no exception yesterday as fans gathered to watch the BBC Big Screen in Festival Square.

“Lots of people at Edinburgh enjoying bbcbigscreens as well as the baby Seagulls!” came an excited tweet after a pair of fledglings settled beside spectators.

Except it seemed the gulls only had eyes for each other and weren’t too bothered about the latest sporting exploits in London.

It seems not everyone has been swept up Olympic fever.

Step up to the hotplate

IF you’re a hotshot with a hotplate or a cracker at the cooker, then here’s your chance to prove it.

Channel 4 show Come Dine With Me has announced it is casting right here in the Capital.

So if you’ve got the chat and the kitchen credentials to keep a bunch of sniping strangers happy, then email comedinewithme@itv.com or call 08712 003 939.

Talk of the Town would enter, but unless it’s an all-toast special we just wouldn’t cut it.