Talk of the Town: Panda milk might float your boat

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EARLIER this week, Talk of the Town brought you panda-inspired boxer shorts – today we’ve got a real splash.

Milk giant Robert Wiseman Dairies has started delivering the white stuff with pictures of Edinburgh Zoo’s most famous residents, Tian Tian and Yang Guang, on the side.

Every carton sent out to Scottish schools – reaching 1.7 million children across the country each week – will also include a “panda fact”.

But sex education teachers hoping the cartons would do their jobs for them will be disappointed.

That’s because the Chinese bears’ deflating failure to mate earlier this year will be tactfully omitted.

Norval’s cup final song has met its match with us

WHILE the Evening News’ cup final song is aimed at unifying Hearts and Hibs fans across the great divide, one Capital songwriter has very much nailed his colours to the mast.

Norval Barclay, a well known face on the city’s live music scene, has penned Back Home to Leith, an anthem he hopes will inspire his beloved Hibs to Hampden glory.

It was given a public airing at Easter Road during half-time as Hibs cantered to SPL safety by beating Dunfermline on Monday.

The song was put together with a number of fellow performers and big names, including Norval’s dad Bill Barclay.

All very well and good – but where’s your dancing pandas?

Oh, it’s Peter Andre..

TALK of the Town was lured in by the promise of big news ahead of today’s Girls’ Day Out event at the Royal Highland Centre in Ingliston.

We were told an “international pop star and household name” was in town – cutting the ribbon to open the fashion and lifestyle show before taking part in various activities.

Then, later, we discovered it was Peter Andre.

Still, there is good news . . . no mention of him taking the stage for a singalong.

Timing is everything

IT seems men across the Capital can set their watch by their partners.

Saturday night, 11pm, has been revealed as the time women’s sexual appetite is at its strongest.

A survey of 1000 women revealed the crucial moment for men to make their move.

Unfortunately we haven’t been told how many fellas have normally already committed themselves to Match of the Day by 11pm on a Saturday night.