MADONNA has been booted out of her own home after a series of vicious attacks on Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift.
The bad blood between the trio has reportedly become so violent that Madonna has actually been sent to live on a farm in Midlothian to prevent further serious injury.
However, these are not the global pop icons – instead, Madge has actually found herself egg-spelled from a Capital school.
Pupils at Trinity Primary named their brood of hens after five of the world’s most popular popstars.
The hens – who live in a coop named Egginburgh Castle – arrived at the school in September thanks to a grant from the Scottish Government’s food for thought education fund.
But trouble soon arose amongst the flock – which also includes Katy Pecky and Beyonce – after Madonna began aggressively pecking at Gaga and Taylor.
Headteacher Jacqueline Scott told the Evening News that attempts were made to keep all five together, but to no avail and the decision was made to break up the supercoop on December 23.
Mrs Scott said: “We let the kids vote on the theme for the names; they could have been superheroes, female literary characters, Greek goddesses or popstars – so you can tell which one they went for.”
“Madonna was pecking at Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift until their feathers came off to the point that they were actually bleeding.”
“There was a spray they were putting down to prevent Madonna from doing this and we tried separating her from the others, but it was to no avail and this was really the only option.”
She added: “We ended up having to get her inside a cat carrier to take her to the farm, just in case.”
Pupils were told about the move at an assembly organised just after they returned from their winter break.
However, Mrs Scott was quick to reassure both pupils and parents that there was no hint of fowl play and the hen had actually moved on to pastures new.
“She has genuinely gone to live on a farm,” she laughed. “We did have a few questions about that from parents when their kids passed on the message, but I’m happy to report she is still alive.”
The chicken coop is located in the school’s secret garden, with pupils on a rota for cleaning and caring for them.
Each week, the primary four class is tasked with collecting and selling the eggs produced by the hens as part of the school’s Henterprise project.
Mrs Scott said: “They are really popular with parents and pupils, we even had some in on Christmas Day feeding them.”
However, she added it was unlikely a Chicki Minaj or Hennifer Lopez would be introduced to fill the blank space.
“We’ve been told that we can’t have another chicken at the moment, because they just wouldn’t settle,” she said.
“We don’t want a similar situation, but we are happy with the four that we have, most of the children love them and we enjoy having them here.”