The pit-falls of being Spider-man’s dad

Tom and Dominic Holland - Father and son
Tom and Dominic Holland - Father and son
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FOR the last two decades, comedian Dominic Holland has been the most famous member of his family... not any more, his eldest son Tom, has just eclipsed him, and as he returns to the Free Fringe, Dominic reflects on father to a super-hero.

“WE all love our children, right? Sure, we do. But what is more grating than proud parents boasting about their wonderful little angels?

Firstly, such parents are usually delusional because their kids aren’t so angelic and if they are, then in general, other parents don’t want to hear it because it makes us feel bad.

Certainly, if I ever encounter a parent who describes their kid as a hero then going forward, I would probably mark them as avoid.

“But my son is a hero and a super-hero at that. And this is not my opinion, it’s a fact. My son is Spider-Man. God-damn it, my son is an Avenger.

“And this is not all good news. Because it makes me the second most famous person in my own blinking family. That is why my Fringe show is called Eclipsed.

“Despite my best efforts as a comedian, I am now forever going to be known as Spider-Man’s dad.

“I am often asked how this happened... A fluke, there has been no grand master plan; he was never even in a school play and never did drama, let alone attend a drama school

“And we are definitely not pushy parents either - which is the only thing more grating than boastful parents.

“So all of this is new and I’m making mistakes but learning fast. Like, if I ever see a young child lost in a supermarket who happens to be wearing a full Spider-Man outfit, I will never ever again go up and introduce myself as Spider-Man’s dad...

“Six hours I was in that police station. Copper looking down at me: ‘Sticking to your story are you? You’re Spider-Man’s Dad.’

Eclipsed, Voodoo Rooms, until 27 Aug, 4.40pm, Free