Zoe Lyons 5 jokes not in my Fringe show

Zoe Lyons. Pic: Comp
Zoe Lyons. Pic: Comp
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THERE’S nothing worse than reading a badly constructed review in which the writer gives away the story or all the show’s best jokes.

Luckily Zoe Lyons isn’t a one-liner king of comic, and, without fear of spoilers can share these five funny jokes you won’t hear in her new show, at the Gilded Balloon.

I AM not really a pun comic but I do write them for my own amusement. I love one-liners and it was listening to the likes of American comics Steven Wright and Emo Phillips that really got me interested in comedy. Every now and then I have a routine where I can slip a one-liner in without it being too jarring, but jokes that won’t be making their Edinburgh debut appearance this year in my show include:

1: In certain parts of Scotland you can see large numbers of Puffins, or heavy smokers as I like to call them.

2: My decision to take the job in the frontal lobotomy clinic was for me in the end a no-brainer.

3: The old blind fisherman liked nothing more than coming home and putting on a pair of his favourite kippers.

4: Voodoo acupuncture didn’t cure my annoying backache but my annoying neighbour died.

5: My Italian Grandfather, Signor Ratzzi, loved his camera so much, he was always jumping out in front of us and taking our pictures and we would have to shout no Paparatzzi!

They are proper groaner jokes and as long as they stay safely tucked up in my note book they can harm no one.

Zoe Lyons: Mustard Cutter, Gilded Balloon, until 24 August, various times, £9-£11, 0131-226 0000