Brexit is not a game of whiff-whaff, Boris

Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
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Colin Montgomery: Brexit is no game of whiff-whaff, Boris

Indeed, I could spend hours poring over the marvels of such words as pulchritudinous, concupiscent and, one of my favourites, vituperative. But for the life of me, I’m struggling with the following belters: divergence and alignment, as in the ‘regulatory divergence or alignment’ now holding up Brexit negotiations.

If you follow the ongoing clown show that Brexit has become, you’ll know that this is a shameless tee-up for a whack at the farce that sees 10 DUP MPs getting huffy at the issue of customs regulations post-Brexit (taking back control perhaps).

Some might say they’re permanently huffy, but I couldn’t possibly comment. I guess they feel they’re just fighting their corner and that’s fine.

What’s not fine are some of the lies being exposed by this debacle. Yes, contrary to the hubristic huffing and puffing of, ahem, statesmen like Boris Johnson some time ago, this whole leaving Europe thing isn’t just a jolly game of whiff-whaff with Jemima in the conservatory.

The impasse over the issue of a hard or soft border between the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland proves it. I’ll tread carefully here.

As someone brought up in the west of Scotland, I know just how many sensitive souls there are out there regarding issues of belonging based on your sense of either Britishness or Irishness.

Some will dig their heels in just because they like the reassuring certainty of the damp earth. I’d urge them all to find common ground soon for the sake of everyone across these isles of ours.