Edinburgh Castle: Protesters citing Magna Carta chose the wrong month not to get laughed at – Susan Morrison
As lockdown eases, we seem to be going a little bit mad and angry.
There has been more than the usual ranty nonsense in the Kirkgate. And that’s saying something.
Two of Leith’s more pungent sons were engaged in a shouting match with a seagull earlier this week. The gull was following them, they said, and “reporting back”.
Clearly the Scottish government leads the way in training surveillance gulls. Clever. How would you know which gull was following you, eh?
Towering above all our mad angry people stand the folk of Clan McBonkers who channelled their inner Braveheart and stormed Edinburgh Castle.
Mind you, castle-storming is not what it once was. Back in the day, you needed to tool up before taking on the battlements.
The guys inside would have locked the gates and would be firing sharp pointy things at you. Very hot oil would be poured down on your head and I’m not referring to the lavender-scented scalp-massage variety. Health and safety was not a priority.
Modern storming would seem to be steaming past the ticket office, brushing off the hi-vis jacket wearing custodians (who are all lovely) and then honking about the place like over-excited geese.
We should be grateful. This modern army was seizing the castle for the people, by lawful means, although I suppose technically not stumping up the entrance fee isn’t lawful.
Good that they brushed up on the law before setting out. Sadly, though, it was the wrong law. They wittered on about Article 61 of the Magna Carta, which was signed in 1215 in England by an English king.
These Scottish patriots seemed to be unaware that Scotland was literally another country at the time. Next time they may want to quote something more relevant, like Section 15, Paragraph 15.1, Subsection 15.1.1, Clause 5 (b) of the Terms and Conditions for their Hoover warranty.
Also, people, top tip for future castle seizing. Don’t do it in August. It's the Fringe.
Most of us wrote you off as a desperate, publicity-hunting sketch show troupe. You’re obviously rubbish at drumming up business. No flyers? Really?