I've opened a new 'restaurant' and there's a customer who keeps coming into the kitchen for cat food – Hayley Matthews
Lockdown has left me a bit bored and needing a purpose, so I've opened up a garden restaurant with a VIP window box – for those that can fly up to it.
Our customers are getting very fat and I'm surprised they can even get into the air when they fly off after feeding.
Yes, it's not an actual restaurant (don't be silly, I can hardly get my clothes on the right way round in the morning, never mind open a business), it's a garden window box for the birds with an extended beer garden for outdoor mixing and it's going like a fair!
We have the same wood pigeons every morning and now a family of finches too. Not to forget about the same seagull who's slightly brazen and just comes to the back door and helps himself to the cat food.
I mean this area is for staff only but his cheeky manner gets him away with it. I know it's the same seagull because he has a little red string round his left ankle.
I've never appreciated the garden birds (and seagulls too) until now and feel I have a duty to keep the outdoor buffet going.
I joke with my partner about the customers’ complaining and we laugh at them waddling about the garden like a fat family at a Chinese buffet but it's given us a purpose the last few months and some light entertainment whilst the cinemas have been shut.
But in all seriousness, get yourself a transparent window box for the birds, fill it with seeds and watch the feathered customers out there enjoying a family dinner together.