John Gibson: A game with Colonel Cardownie?

Never mind me, though. Gaddafi was consumed with ambition and see what that did for him. Let’s talk instead, though. With an ambition that knows no bounds. Somebody we all know. Steve Cardownie.

I can exclusively reveal that Stevie, right, is mad keen to one day become supremo, Colonel Cardownie, of an all-in-one Edinburgh United. My assumption.

One stadium. One voice. Ideally a Hearts-Hibs combo. In that order. It’s no secret. Everybody knows he’s a Jambo. As was the late wildly ambitious Wallace Mercer, bristling with a similar vision.

Name shame

A NEWLY-APPOINTED far from jolly judge on the judiciary circuit in Yorkshire obviously doesn’t get out much. He has ordered Yorkshiremen not to call women “love” in his court.

This finicky, feisty fuhrer, John Foster, 64, decrees women be shown more respect. From here on call them “ma’am”.

Nobody’s told this dithering dunderheid that “love” has been a term of endearment since pre-Yorkshire pudding days.

I’m told Foster is a keen baart-warming study of the two Great Danes. Illness had forced vets to removedminton player. I’d take untold delight in calling him “cock” if ever we meet.Canine carer

Stark contrast to the pictures of Gaddafi – welcome but gory nonetheless. Nothing rivalled the he Lily’s eyes and now she relies totally on her long-time pal Maddison to act as her guide dog.

Dogs Trust Shrewsbury, 01952 770225, hope they’ll have no trouble finding a home for the pair.

Afterwords . .

. . . you read it only here. The demented Colonel’s dying words: “Will Hibs be relegated this season?”