John Gibson: This will make you grit them

Enough to give you gum rot. Patients in Edinburgh twice as much as their cousins in Glasgow for dental work - 74 quid for a consultation here against £27 for Weegies.

You want a bridge? Dig deep for £443 in Edinburgh, in Glasgow £293. Yes, a bridge too far. Falsers £473 in Edinburgh compared to £260 through there. Now you know why they boast that Glasgow is smiles better.

I’m giving you a mouthful courtesy of’s survey. Facts and figures I prefer not to chew over. I bubblewrap my top and bottom sets, mark them fragile and stick them in the post.

Bag a new job

I’m not a doctor but are those bags I see under Home Secretary Theresa May’s eyes? Last time I saw bags that big was under Duke Ellington’s. But the Duke charmed us with his music. Theresa, charmless in the extreme, is carrying bags comparatively funereal.


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Is it worth it, Mrs May, even with your salary? Get a relatively stress-free job. Stacking shelves at Tesco?

Smell of fear

A lady friend assures me that women can sniff out a wimp because they can smell fear on a man’s skin. The smell of perspiration released by men when they feel afraid, it’s claimed, triggers the same emotion in women. I always though it was my Old Spice that put them off.

This after a study at Utrecht University led by Doctor Gun Semin. A working colleague of Doctor Strabooz of Utrecht, I wonder.