Paternity leave: I’ve just experienced how vital it really is – Ian Murray MP

Ian Murray’s new baby has shown to him how important it is for dads to share the first few weeks of their child’s life.

Ian Murray’s baby daughter Zola was born on 20 August

There are few moments that change your life. For me, until two weeks ago, it was standing in the old Meadowbank stadium at the 2010 General Election count being given the honour and privilege to be elected as the MP for Edinburgh South.

But Thursday 20 August 2020 at 18:35 eclipsed that. I sat in a hospital operating theatre being given the honour and privilege of becoming a daddy for the first time when I was handed my baby daughter, Zola, just seconds after her birth. Instant love.

The very fact I was able to be in the operating theatre at all for the Caesarean section was an amazement to me. I have a psychological impediment to hospitals that I think I inherited from my own dad. All I need to do is hear the automatic doors slide open at the entrance and the blood is rushing from my head. It’s so bad I’ve even fainted getting my blood pressure taken. It’s embarrassing but nothing compared to my sheer terror at being handed a pair of operating pyjamas to accompany Mariam into theatre.

Ian Murray is the Labour MP for Edinburgh South

But all was fine. I managed to stay upright. Every parent will know why. That feeling of responsibility and awe at being handed a little human who will be completely reliant on her parents just overwhelms any other anxiety.

As for what you mums have to go through! I hadn’t had any experience of pregnancy and birth before now. I have found the hypnobirthing, antenatal classes and online resources fascinating but been completely blown away by the actual process. It’s more than easy for us dads in comparison and I have a whole new respect for every mum out there. It is certainly true that not all superheroines wear capes.

Before her birth I had been reading a large number of books. I was expecting to be knee deep in nappies, nipple cream and breast pumps. There would be never-ending sterilising sessions, obsessive swaddling and sleepless nights. Advice from every quarter was offered and gratefully received. The best bit of advice I got is to sleep when you can. Huh, I always replied, you can’t just sleep at 2pm (although my colleagues in the House of Lords have a damn good shot at it). Oh yes you can. Best advice ever!

Which brings me to paternity leave. I’m fortunate to be able to take paternity leave and share the first few weeks of Zola’s life to get to know her, help mum and share in those unforgettable moments. It is so important to be able to take time away from work but few dads do so. Statistics show that less than a third of dads take it and only one per cent use shared leave. The reasons are cultural, financial and the way some of our economy operates.

Most studies show that there is still a cultural problem with paternity leave. However, the main impediment is financial and that links to the way our economy works. An Office for National Statistics paternity survey commissioner said it’s down to not being able to afford the time off work, partly because of childcare costs and some forms of employment like zero-hour contracts and gig economy workers not being able to. This is something we should work together as policy makers to change.

And to our cherished NHS. This Covid crisis has given us a reminder of the importance of it. We should never take it for granted. We all give our thanks day and daily to those that keep us healthy and safe. I now offer my heartfelt thanks to the NHS staff who helped deliver our 6lb 12.5oz of joy.

There is no doubt that the next few weeks are going to be a challenge, but we couldn’t be more excited for what’s to come and I’m enjoying every single precious second of it.

So much to learn and so little time but, for now, time to sleep.

Ian Murray is the Labour MP for Edinburgh South

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