Edinburgh Airport should change welcome signs to 'You'll have had your tea?' – Grumpy McGrumpface

Tourists should not be welcomed to Edinburgh by a piper or anyone else, according to 'Grumpy McGrumpface'
Tourists should not be welcomed to Edinburgh by a piper or anyone else, according to 'Grumpy McGrumpface'
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It's time to get tough on the terrible tourists laying waste to Edinburgh, writes 'Grumpy McGrumpface'.

The Festival season is now well and truly underway and hordes of culture vultures have descended on our fair city, wreaking havoc and devastation wherever they go.

Shamelessly filling our hotels to capacity, packing out our restaurants and bars, cramming into our shops spending serious amounts of money, travellers from all over the world who have the barefaced cheek to choose Edinburgh as their destination of choice.

The Welcome to Edinburgh signs at the airport should immediately be replaced with more appropriate slogans such as “You’ll have had your tea?” and in the departure lounge, “Dinnae haste ye back!”.

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The Fringe office should be served with notice to ‘cease and desist’, as they promote their programme of 3841 shows and 59,600 performances, to say nothing of allowing companies from 63 countries to perform here with 700 unwanted free shows and another 400 ‘pay as you want’ shows into the bargain.

It doesn’t matter that the majority of Fringe-goers are from Edinburgh or the rest of Scotland or that city-wide polls show residents are proud of the festivals and welcome them, they are a blight on our city.

The Tattoo and International Festival have also played their part in attracting too many visitors to our city in August.

The fact that they have a stellar reputation throughout the world does not cut any ice.

Last but not least, the Edinburgh economy can do very well without the £200-plus million that the festivals generate – thanks, but no thanks!

Grumpy McGrumpface is an alter-ego of Steve Cardownie