Fiona Duff: Phone fixed - a little bird told me

Only Fiona Duff's mother calls her on the landline
Only Fiona Duff's mother calls her on the landline
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So, last week I realised that my landline phone was on the blink. Obviously I have no idea how long it was like that. The only people that seem to use it to contact me are people wanting to know if I have been mis-sold a mortgage or wanting to know if I have a funeral plan in place. Or otherwise my mother.

In the days of old it would have been quite simple. I would have nipped next door and borrowed the neighbour’s phone to call British Telecom and a wee man would have popped by and mended it. Nowadays there are a plethora of companies that provide phone services, but it seems most of them don’t like you to actually contact them on that very piece of equipment.

So, on their website I entered into dialogue with someone who had no face or voice as far as I was concerned. Backwards and forwards it went until they typed that they could arrange for someone to call me on my mobile number in four days’ time. What on earth would they be doing in the days in between, I asked?

So I did what everyone does these days and I took to Twitter. One short message proclaiming what a useless service they provided and suddenly they were all over me like bees around honey. A few more tests that they can do remotely and I was then informed that an engineer was booked. It was likely that I wouldn’t even need to let them inside my home.

So all very well, but what if you are like my mother who can’t work her iPad and rarely has her mobile charged?

Obviously, she has no idea what Twitter is or does. How would she be able to get some chap or chapess round to sort out her phone and in the meantime how on earth would she be able to arrange all her bridge games?

Well, I don’t have an answer to that, but once my phone is unblinked I shall call and ask her.