Fiona Duff: Whatever you do, don't mention the '˜T' word

So today Donald Trump becomes the most powerful man in the world. If his behaviour during time in the White House is anything like it has been on the road to Washington, then heaven help us all.

Souvenir Trump inauguration badges on sale at a stand near the White House . Picture: AFP

Here’s a man who as sown nothing but disdain for many of his fellow Americans. During the campaign he must have showered contempt on about 70 per cent of them, what with his comments on women, Mexicans, Muslims, anyone to do with a belief in global warming, journalists and, most recently, is own country’s secret service.

So who on earth voted for him? Whilst not even half of those who bothered to vote, it wasn’t that much less – does no-one on the other side of the Atlantic read newspapers, I wonder.

I do know that there are many in the US of A who don’t know much about the world (a huge number don’t even own passports), but to put their faith in a reality TV misogynist with bad hair and a predilection for not paying tax really beggars belief.

A friend of mine knows a lady based in New York. This Yankee dame is so distressed by the situation that she’s fled to Edinburgh for Inauguration Day. Mind you if you look at the voting patterns I doubt that there will be much in the way of celebrations going on in the Big Apple.

So a party is being held in her honour this evening so she can try and forget what is happening in her homeland. We are told that if the “T” word is uttered then £1 must be deposited into a swear box. The contents of this box will then be donated to a group who have been misrepresented by The Donald, the new Great Leader of the Western World.

Obviously there are so many groups and charities eligible for this that even if we spend all night hurrumphing and Trumping, they’ll only get about 50p each.