John Gibson: Don’t worry . . it’s all pie in the sky

Gary Lineker
Gary Lineker
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This could well be the answer to the deadly disease-carrying, defecating pigeons that soil Edinburgh – pigeon pie. The soiled residents of Royston, Herts, driven near to distraction by the birds, have been discussing pigeon pie as a “delicacy” in Victorian times.

It was consumed extensively during the Second World War. Currently it can been found on the menu in some of infested Edinburgh’s snootier restaurants,

I find it a lip-smacking treat, only if generously smothered by broon sauce.

Serve them right

I have to agree. Unreservedly. A coffee stall owner in Norwich has told customers he’ll refuse to serve them while they’re talking on a mobile phone.

Debrett’s, the recognised authority on etiquette, is supportive.

They say the owner is “striking a blow for basic manners”.

The courageous coffee trader was fed up being expected to lip-read orders.

About time we had more of his kind in Edinburgh.

While we’re talking basic manners, it’s irritating seeing the uncouth board a bus while chuntering into a moby. Happens all too frequently in Edinburgh. Drivers shouldn’t let them on.

Afterwords . .

. . . in the lap of luxury, the BBC’s superstar Gary Lineker with a £2 million salary, talking at his London home: “Brings out the worst in people, golf.” Explains, perhaps, why he and fellow fitba’ pundit Alan Hansen are no longer seen regularly partnering each other on the course.