John Gibson: Dundee’s a gem of a city for Topaz

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You can’t keep a fair city down. Not with Dundee, you can’t. And inevitably we are talking William Topaz McGonagall.

Topaz? Where did that moniker spring from? I say again, Topaz. Dundee’s got a motto: “One City, Many Discoveries”.

I’ve got my own particular thing for Dundee (and we’ll try to keep football out of this): The City Of The Four Js – Jute, Jam, Journalism and Jeesus, who the hell would want to live in a place like this! Yet a new index compiled by the Royal Society of Arts, and the Heritage Lottery Fund puts Dundee on top, reflecting the vibrancy of the city.

A case of Bonnie Dundee, hellbent on coming tops, slipping in the back door. Pathetic, don’t you think?

I’m sure Edinburgh has a motto but it escapes me for the moment. Had Willie Merrilees been around today I’m sure he could have helped me out.

Talking about Topaz, I’ve always linked the gem with the belly button of a belly dancer we used to have at Easter Road a player with an odd name – Mixu “Putalineon” (above).

Walk the walk

Doubtless you’ll have seen some of the conference coverage. I managed to dodge most of the chancer in the Exchequer’s overlong speech.

Come to think of it, he’s got an odd little walk, has our next Prime Minister, Osborne has this odd little walk in common with the dodgy looking Russian Putin, pictured.

They both look like they’ve done something in their breeks.

You’d have to be out of your skull to buy a second-hand car from either of these gentlemen.