John GIbson: For Shirley this is a new Twist

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Today this column takes on a new twist. Name’s Shirley Twist and for a long time a familiar face around Tynecastle.

Says Shirley: “I worked part-time in hospitality there 30 years back, up till Charles Burnett left 14 years ago. He’d been commercial manager. He’s now commercial director at Livingston FC.

“A couple of years ago I finally ended my relationship with Hearts to start in business for myself. You’re getting the story of my life here.”

Shirley launched a shop in the New Town in Howe Street two years ago, Handbag Heaven. “We sell, buy and exchange handbags and we’re thriving,” she said.

No excuses if she doesn’t steal the show with her handbag at her wedding in June. Husband-to-be, the same Charles Burnett.

“All of 30 years for us to tie the knot. I had to be sure,” quips Shirley.

Title is vital

When Professor Tracey Emin (“Prof” bestowed on her by the Royal Academy) turned up at Buck Palace to collect her CBE the wonder is that she was allowed past the gates, dragging her unmade bed with her.

She surely shocked the Queen. “Have you brought your pyjamas too?” gasped Her Majesty. Jesting, of course, but Professor Emin does roll easily off the tongue.

While I don’t grudge Trace her gong, I do resent Lord Snooty Coe’s appointment to Companion of Honour. Mind you, he did strive awfully hard to be a good companion in the eyes of royalty and Cabinet ministers. Snooty’s broad smile is endearing, has to be said.