John Gibson: He could make dough in Big Apple

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Pies the limit. Things are buzzing at the Edinburgh Bakehouse. Baker/owner James Lynch has won an award in virtually every category of the Scotland Baker of the Year competition.

“I’m delighted of course,” froths James “and I may well hit six. I’m up for another award on Saturday, May 18, my birthday as it happens.”

All this despite his rather cramped premises in Newington Road. He adds: “I’ve got a couple of pals, both expats, one in New York, the other in Madrid, coming home for the cup final at Hampden, all of us Hibbies. They’re saying I should set up where they are, taking the bakehouse with me. They’ve got me swithering, but they’d have to twist my arm.”

Must be joking

Hope for me yet? Me, a bundle of laughs 24/7? According to researchers at the Stirling University, hub of the universe, men, even men who are follicularly challenged and are “ten-stone weaklings”, have a rosy chance of pulling a bird into the bedroom if they can raise a laugh, often the last laugh.

Funnier the man, the brighter his prospects, say Stirling’s eggheads. Anybody heard any good jokes lately?

Have faith

Is your church organist a sinner or a swinger? With the Lord’s guidance and approval, do-gooders for Christian Research have learned that some mischievous organists have been sneaking into their keyboards variations in the kirk pop tunes like Send in the Clowns and, when the plate comes around, Abba’s Money Money Money.

Congregations don’t know whether to laugh or cry when this happens and if it’s happening at your kirk, let me know. The hymnary could do with some tunes that raise a titter.