John Gibson: It’s grotty, Xmas cards this early

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It won’t be long now. Won’t be long before we have Brenda Lee rocking around the Christmas tree and Chris Rea driving home for Christmas. And good golly, mind the holly, we’re just into September.

By the end of this month, the cards will be in the shops and Edinburghers will witness the ritualistic race to see who’s first to sprout the giant tree in the Capital. Jenners or the Dome.

Both provide visions of wonderment for the kiddies. Santa’s Grotto is bad news now, frowned on by the watchdogs. However there’s an attention-seeking bloke (invariably there is one) in rural Kent who has beaten everybody to it. The businessmen has had volunteers help him erect a lights display now, to encourage people to raise £1500 to replace lights stolen from storage in the local fire station. They’re all up and will stay up till Christmas.

That’s the spirit. The Dome and Jenners are working on it. We wish you the merriest, we wish you the merriest . . .

Tee dancer

A swinger in more ways than one. Golf’s legendary Tony Jacklin was being coached to star in Strictly Come Dancing. I’ll start watching the show only when they persuade Peter Alliss to participate. Doubtless Peter would introduce lots of characteristic twirly bits.

A magnetic TV show I’ve never watched, though I rather fancied myself as a sort of twinkle toes on the floor of Edinburgh’s much missed Fountainbridge Palais de Danse. Just a chance you met your wife-to-be there.