John Gibson: Just keep on taking the tablets

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Weird. Quite wonderful. You might add wacky. Every other day we read about the truly magical mind-blowing qualities of the aspirin.

A professor pal tells me researchers in the States (only in America) have discovered that bouts of rage can be cured by taking an aspirin. Yep, that easy!

They call it intermittent explosive disorder (IED), starting in the late teens. To put it simply, “failure to resist aggressive impulses”.

I’ve had it myself, from my early and late teens and forever thereafter. But have never been aware of it.

Soar throats

Something to liven up your office party? How about some throat singing? The “three wise men” on the Royal Military Tattoo’s card, sent to me by the Tattoo’s marketing man Alan Smith, are Mongolian throat singers featured at this year’s event. Only if the office stump up their air fares. Pass me a pastille, please.

Chris-mas tune

It used to be Bing Crosby’s White Christmas. I’m taking you back. Then the Ronettes with Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (yugh). Cliff with the Mistletoe. The lovable Slade’s Merry Xmas Everybody. Then Wham’s Last Christmas (reduced me to tears) but now my favourite tinselly song, as of last year, is Chris Rea’s Driving Home for Christmas.

By the way, I’ve got more than enough Old Spice.

Afterwords . . .

. . .and they’re hot from my cracker: what do you call a cat in the desert? Sandy Claws. Funny enough to eat along with the pudding and the sprouts.