I’VE seen that sofa float down the main street of Appleby so often that I wanted to dive in and grab it.
Only I have lost the inclination to swim, not that I was ever proficient in the water, thanks to a sibling who ducked me under the water at Leith Victoria Baths, thinking he was doing me a favour.
Only I’m not so sure he was at all doing me a good turn. I doubt, even now all these years later, he felt he was doing me a good turn at all. I suspect he, to coin a phrase in later life, he had it in for me.
However he has since paid the ultimate penalty and wherever he is now, may the Lord be taking good care of him. I don’t mean that at all, if I’m honest. I am, at this stage, even now, wondering what became of that sofa.
Floods. I hoped we had left floods all behind us but now, as I gaze out the window and see it lashing down I very much doubt it.
However, we should be all right now that the First Minister has arrived on the scene to sort everything out and drop a few quid in the coffers of the unfortunates who had the torrents invade their homes.
I’ve just seen the cup draw and the last two teams out of the hat are Heart of Midlothian and Hibernian.
Goodness me tickets for that nerve-tingler at Tynie will be, without a doubt, the hottest in town. Must try to snaffle one. Mind you ground advantage will make all the difference. I have the feeling I am making excuses long before the kick-off.
Perhaps, if I’m being practical at all, a replay is the most we can hope for, speaking as a totally unbiased commentator.