John Gibson: No apology here over royal flush

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Oh dear, what can the matter be, the Queen’s just gone to the lavatree! My item about Her Majesty’s toilet functions has appalled a regular reader. He’s alleging it was in dubious taste and is demanding an apology.

No deal. Like I wrote, the Queen uses the lavatory like you and I. Only the texture of the toilet paper may well be, shall we say, a bit more expensive. I’d suggest to my correspondent a hanging offence wasn’t committed.

Hats off to Anne

She’s different from the rest of the royals (although I must say I like the cut of Charles’ suits). Anne is one of the boys, and here’s one of the more captivating snaps of Her Royal Highness. Could it be the hat?

She’s patron of the Royal Scots Club in Abercromby Place and on July 4 she’ll participate in the club’s 90th anniversary celebrations, taking the salute across the road in Queen Street Gardens at the Beating of the Retreat by the Royal Scots Association Pipe Band.

Still tickets available for the do in the gardens. They cost £38 and Janet Grant has details at 556 4270. Sounds like a wee Edinburgh Tattoo all on its own.

Eat Samoa this

Horse flesh is yesterday’s potatoes. Today it’s dog meat. Samoa in the South Pacific plans to can their dogs for export – to Asia but, bearing in mind what happened with horses, it could creep craftily on the shelves here.

It seems like an ideal way to tackle Samoa’s escalating dogs problem, says a minister in their parliament. Write to him if you deem canned canines distasteful. His name: Apulu Fa’afisi. Don’t forget a stamped and addressed envelope.