Howls for your bowels. But do read on. Never had much time, or repect, for them as a breed. Researchers. Or, as they prefer to be known, scientists. And, not for the first time, I’m asking – where have they been all their lives?
Or, where do they think we’ve been? They are announcing to the world that porridge oats are best for starting the day. The perfect starter for banishing cancer and heart disease.
A gathering of scientists from far and wide has concluded – better helluva late than never, I suppose – that a bioactive compound peculiar only to oats could be the answer, crucially. It’s the fibre, you see. I’m not a doctor but I have concluded that researcher/scientists are plagued by chronic constipation. They should see their neighbourhood chemist.
The problem for me, personally, is whether to sprinkle sugar or salt on my porridge. An item that, by rights, should be debated at their next summit.
God on his side
Jack’s alright. He surely has the good Lord on his side. Jack Kellet has survived three bouts of life-threatening illness and, a pillar at South Leith Parish Church where he was minister for 26 years, he is well settled into retirement in sleepy Walkerburn.
And his mind is functioning close to perfection. He rang after reading my piece about Tony Benn’s passing, saying he had vivid recollection of the time Benn, hungry for votes, appeared in Leith Town Hall.
“With little or no advance publicity, Benn still attracted a standing-room-only audience to the hall at nine in the morning. It was radical, revolutionary stuff.”
Jack got my vote of thanks when he packed in the pulpit at South Leith and (hopefully) I’ve been mentioned in his subsequent prayers. Meaantime, he is working on a two-book memoir. So the village people have no need to shout wakey-wakey to him at Walkerburn.