John Gibson: The horses win by a good neck

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What’s it to be, them or us, meaning horses or her loyal subjects? We’re talking about Queenie and did you ever, I mean ever, clock a more positively radiant smile fom HRH than when her nag won the Gold Cup at Ascot?

Nothing gives her a bigger buzz than when she was long-to-reign-over-us victorious in equine terms. She is comparatively boot-faced going about her daily business and you couldn’t blame her. A drab, dreary job, so much so that she may be excused spending so much of her dotage with the top-hatted toffs, the mile-high society.

Buble burster

You may well find this churns the stomach but I’m sure you can get something for it over the counter at the chemists. It Michael Buble talking: “Hopefully as an entertainer I’m a charismatic, confident, energetic man. But I’m also an insecure, shy and sometimes scared person. we all are. I may be famous but I’m really very normal.” Is that so, Michael?

Sparkling wit

My own fault for encouraging him. The Canongate’s Has Beans Coffee House’s owner/comedian Graham Kenny’s one-liner sneaked into this column and, probably too soon, he’s telling me his brainy brother worked in a lemonade factory. He was a fizzicist.