John Gibson: Working flat out to get to Aberystwyth

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I’ve been all over the world. Check my passport. But I’ve never been to Aberystwyth.

There’s a club there called Libertine where women aren’t allowed in if they’re wearing flats. Apparently there is a “heels only” policy inflicted by an over-zealous bouncer.

I’ve always worn flats and nobody has given me any hassle. I’ll have to be on my guard next time I’m in Aberystwyth.

Bloo-Ming great

Seen emerging on two sticks, from Mr James, the well-respected West End quality tailor, Ming Campbell, pictured.

Ming (Lord Ming Campbell if we are to appreciate his elevation to the Lords last week) is paying his dues for his earlier exploits as a sprinter of note.

Good on yer, Ming, you are the very man to laud it in the Lords, with special regard to Trident, a helluva squandering of taxpayers’ money.

There were over 800 “Lordships” down there at the last count.

Give ’em the boot

I’ve been waiting to read this for a long time. Jobless young’uns are to find work within six months or lose their benefits. Goody!

Job seekers under-21 after the first three weeks of claiming unemployment benefit will endure – the poor darlings – an “intensive activity programme” or bootcamp. Can it be long before the return of National Service?