John Gibson: You must meet his new bird

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True romance at long last? “John, I must introduce you to my new bird,’’ Norrie Rowan is frothing.

I’m agog over a hastily-convened lunch. I should have known better. The “bird’’ is a hornbill and it had got to Rowan’s ears that one of the species at Edinburgh Zoo coincidentally is named Norrie.

Sponsorship is invited and he unhesitatingly forked out 80 quid. Should keep his beneficiary supplied with bird seed or whatever for a wee while.

I understand there was a relevant poster in the park and somebody had scrawled “no mate for Norrie” over it.

Only from the incurable romancer, gearing up for a reunion with some old team-mates at Murrayfield on Saturday, would you hear this Rowanesque romp: “Choosing you dinner is like choosing your girlfriend. You get the menu, make your choice, and when you see what your pal has got you wish you’d picked the same.”

Right, Mr R, we’ll let you know.

Accent on skills

Too many of our top companies can’t fill their jobs because too many university grads are numpties. Meaning, incredibly, they’ve got big problems with the basics – reading and writing.

Bosses are also finding trouble with accents. Harry Redknapp for example, has been “victimised’’ for his Cockney lingo. Personally, I fink the way wot ’Arry speaks has a certain charm.

My Leith accent’s been a bit of a burden but I’ve long given up trying to polish it. It’s done me no harm in the long run. See where it’s got me. And you’re laughing.