Mac Twins: Rocky road to middle age

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The quarter of a century mark brings with it all the smells and scents of adulthood without the nose or the taste buds to accompany it.

Like walking into an expensive French restaurant without the linguistic skills to read the menu. We’re paying tax and negotiating housing contracts, yet cooking lamb is still prefaced with a phone call to Mummy for help.

Our mid-20s, without Google search, would be a shameful series of questions to family members. Much like the deteriorative hangover, the road to 30 creeps up without warning. So, with that in mind, and fully aware of the fact we shall sneer and recite these with irony even at 26, here is a run-down of our lives at 25:

1. Existential angst is manifesting itself in a double pronged way across our circle of friends. Either they are gallivanting off to spend their savings (as they know they’ll never afford a mortgage), or settling down with partners, buying clothes “to last”, and discussing Le Creuset sets. Suddenly early morning Skypes and flicking through wedding magazines at house parties have become routine.

2. The prequel/cause for the afore mentioned point is the creation of single/relationship camps, never the twain shall drink or club together.

The Singles Club night out shalt not be poisoned with town folks running home to partners and the settlers do not want to hear of the wild countryman’s fun. Okay, we’re pushing the extremes, but there is a definite divide, probably more natural than man-made as priorities change.

3. WhatsApp groups make or break friendships and are the best thing since Filofax.

4. Our attitudes to a family holiday have flip-reversed in the past ten years. Jetting off with parents ensures guaranteed banter, the avoidance of Super Noodles and no group trip to Thomas Cook. Even on girlie holidays we’ve found ourselves saying, “Shall we just get a bottle of that two euro sangria and conserve our energy?” and, “You may as well wait to get on the plane”, and the scariest of all – taking TRAVEL DETERGENT to wash our smalls.

5. Social media has brought with it new ways of finding our identity and engaging with 20-something peers, and we’re not afraid to say BuzzFeeds are currently our most frequent dialogue with mates and, quite frankly, give us a sense of belonging. As a nod frantically to “25 reasons you know your best friend is your best friend” and “20 reasons you know you’re single” it does give a sense of shameless warmth.

6. All our friends have varying incomes, but the truth of the matter at this age is you spend what you earn. Father Mac recently asked me the, of course reasoned, question of, “Do you have a pension then?”. I duly spat my Tetley out, dropped my HobNob, scuttled off and hid my Ibiza Rocks confirmation receipt. We are our consoling ourselves with the mantra, “20s are for living, 30s are for saving”, but we fear this message is not reaching our tired parents and bank accounts. Having just checked our accounts, the message is all too clear.

7. We’ve started wearing tights as standard and are now having to keep skin taught when plucking our eyebrows. Spots have also been replaced with varicose veins.

8. Living arrangements are TOUGH. We’ve passed the student gung-ho lets with our friends in Freshers Week, but nowhere near the mortgage/accidently calling the spare room the nursery phase.

9. Red lipstick makes us feel more attractive in a room full of hot models. FACT.

10. Our brains are filled with triviality and fear of the future (see previous nine points).

Never too early

Starting dance at the age of five (Alana going on to having a degree in it by 21 and owning two performance schools by 25), we know all too well the benefits of learning to perform in dance.

Dance is not only a fun way to keep fit and learn musicality but it instils life skills, including confidence building, social awareness and the discipline (especially in ballet) and sets a hard work ethic.

The sooner the better we say, so when we came across the concept of Baby Ballet we were definitely intrigued. Baby Ballet is an award-winning pre-school dance concept for girls and boys from six months to six years. With schools across the UK teaching over 10,000 children, Baby Ballet allow babies, toddlers and young children to enjoy the physical and social benefits of dance and song in a safe, caring, positive and informal environment.

Classes are going to be starting on Wednesday mornings at Pentland Community Centre and Friday mornings at Colinton Bowling Club. So get your little tots along to see what it’s all about.